Birth Story. EEK!

So apparently it's very therapeutic to write it all down, and as I'm STILL having flashbacks (which I like to think is perfectly normal) I thought I'd give it a go.

Thursday 4th November - 8:40pm
Sitting on the sofa watching River Cottage and my waters broke. I ran to the bathroom and sat on the toilet, giggling uncontrollably. I suppose it was relief that this was the beginning of the end. I had a shower and changed. Around 9pm hubby arrived home (a classic "my waters have broken" moment) and we called the hospital who told us to come in.

10pm - arrived at hospital where I was put on a monitor and examined. I wasn't having any contractions, but wasn't allowed to go home (twin thing) so I got a bed on the ward and spent the night (hubby sent home).

Friday 5th November - nothing much happened all day. Walked around the hospital a lot, up and down stairs, trying to get contractions to start. The midwives kept checking my temperature. Another night on the ward.

Saturday 6th November - 9am (ish)
I was told that we were going to start the induction process to get my contractions to start. At this point I had no idea what that meant! We moved to a different ward (high dependency) and I was put on the monitor again. Then at about 10:30am I was given a pessary and told they would check me in 12 hours (WHAT??!!). So we started walking around the hospital again.

4:30pm my contraction finally started! Quite exciting at first and I was OK breathing through each one. it just felt like pain (I've heard people say they are "tightenings" but mine didn't feel like that). I found sitting on one
of those big balls the most comfortable.

10pm (ish) we got moved to our own room. I changed into a nightdress and the contractions kept coming. They were about 3 minutes apart and stayed like that all night. I tried gas and air, but didn't feel as in control of my breathing so I only used it a couple of times.

Sunday 7th November
6am (ish) by this time I'd had enough and got a shot of pethidine. The midwife said I would sleep for a couple of hours, but 40 minutes later I was up being sick.

10am (ish) I opened my eyes after a contraction to find about 12 people in my room! My consultant was there and said that they were going to remove the pessary and examine me. I just made sure everyone knew I was going to have an epidural. So the pessary was removed and I was examined. I was only 3-4cms dilated, so they made the decision to put me on a drip to increase the strength and frequency of my contractions. I convinced them to give me an epidural first!

10:30am got an epidural and was put on a drip. This involved changing into a hospital gown, having a cannula inserted into the back of my hand, then having the needle in my back (this really was nothing and nowhere near as bad as having contractions), also a catheter into my bladder. I was also on the monitor from now on so that they could check the babies were OK. Despite all this once it as done I was sooooooo comfortable! No pain, nice and warm, didn't even need to get up to go to the loo. Bliss.

For the rest of the day I dozed and chatted to the midwife. It was really relaxing and the only thing I felt was the occasional ache from the contractions.

8pm I was examined and was 5cms. Hubby went out for a Chinese.

11:30pm I was examined again and they found that there was meconium (so twin 1 had pooed). This can be a sign of distress. I was 7cms dilated. The doctor left the room to talk to the rest of the team about what to do next, meanwhile a load of porters arrived and started taking stuff to the operating theatre! I assumed from this that I was going to have a cesarean!

11:45pm I was taken into the theatre and they upped my epidural. There was a lot of rushing around, loads of people everywhere, doing stuff. The anaesthetist tested whether I was numb enough by spraying a cold solution on my side. I found it really difficult to say how much I could feel so just said it felt fine. However, when the doctor started the incision I could feel it - so I let them know! They waited for a few minutes and tested with the spray again. It felt more numb, but I could still feel quite a lot.

Monday 8th November
12:01am twin 1 was born. 1 minute later twin 2 was born. I felt the baby come out and a heavy feeling when it was put on my legs. Very weird. Hubby went off and saw them, I couldn't understand anything that was going on and didn't really get it when he told me we had a boy and a girl. I was feeling everything and was having to breathe as if I was having contractions. At one point it felt like they turned me inside out and I screamed so they gave me morphine. Eventually I was sewed up and bandaged (I can't remember seeing the babies for the first time).Then I hemorrhaged and was given more drugs to stop the bleeding.

I was in recovery until around 3am as I had another hemorrhage. I tried to feed both babies and hubby held them most of the time, until they were taken to special care. I went back onto the ward where I was induced. I can't remember anything else, apart from getting another cannula in my other hand and being very, very hot.

8am phoned my mum. Hubby arrived back. I had a quick hold of the twin boy.

Hubby spent the day going between my bed and special care, where the twins were being bottle-fed. I went to see them briefly at 8pm. Spent the night on the ward.

Tuesday 9th November
Got up and had a shower. Moved to a post-natal ward.

2:30pm the twins came out of special care for me to look after on the ward. Terrifying!

Friday 12th November
Came home!

The Routine

The Routine

I’m not saying that this is the ultimate routine, but this is what I did in the first 7 months:

Weeks 1-7: feed every 3 hours during the day and whatever they need during the night. Feed both twins together (if bottle feeding sit them in bouncy chairs or car seats, sit between them on the floor with your back against the sofa and something decent on the TV). Don’t worry too much about the amount they sleep; just make sure to put them upstairs at around 7pm so that you at least get a couple of hours to yourself without staring at them.

Weeks 7-15: This is when I started getting up at the same time every morning, regardless of what had happened during the night. For me this was the key to establishing the routine.

06:45 - change both babies nappies and start their feed.

Some point in the next 2 hours - babies go back to sleep, put them in their cots, bouncy chairs or somewhere safe and take yourself off for a shower. When they wake up get them dressed for the day.

10:45 feed.

When they are asleep and it is around lunchtime have something to eat (in another room if you find it more restful) and make sure you drink lots of water.

14:30 feed.

18:00 Bath time – if you are on your own bath them one at a time, making sure the one you are not with has a toy or a dummy to keep them occupied. They will be tired and may scream or fall asleep. Just plough on – it’s bed time soon.

18:30ish once they are both bathed give them their last feed of the day.

19:00 put them to bed in a dark room. Don’t wait for them to fall asleep, leave immediately. If they are crying leave it a few minutes then go in and settle them. Try not to make eye contact or talk to them.

22:30 wake them up for a feed. Only change their nappies if really necessary, although this might help if they are really sleepy and tricky to feed. Consider getting a TV upstairs so that you can settle down to watch something gripping.

The babies will probably wake between 02:00 and 03:00. Feed them in the dark and get them back in their cots as quickly as possible. Only change their nappies if really necessary.

Weeks 15-20: drop the night feed. Only if they are putting on weight properly and are not really interested in their first feed of the morning.

Once they are sleeping well you can decide to drop the 22:30 feed. We dropped it once the babies were established on solids at around 6 and a half months, but I know of super babies who didn't need it from about 10 weeks.

Once you start solids, the 06:45 feed (milk and solids) is breakfast, the 10:45 feed (solids and milk. Drop the milk when they don't want it anymore) gets pushed later and eventually becomes lunch. You introduce a solid feed at 5pm, which is dinner. End the day with a bottle after the bath at 18:30, bed is still at 19:00. They will have 2 sleeps (09:00-10:00 and 12:30-14:30). This is still my routine at 1 year.

Getting Organised

Getting Organised

You will hear a lot about how organised you need to be when you have a baby. I remember feeling quite confident about my organisational skills having completed university and held down a job, but of course you are trying to think clearly in a fog of hormones, physical pain, anxiety, visiting relatives, ringing phones, piles of mail, lack of sleep and many, many arguments with your other half. It’s impossible at these moments to contemplate how you ever followed a conversation, let alone got a promotion. The key to being organised is to stop and have a good think – go into another room, away from the babies, with paper and pen if necessary and just picture the next few hours and what you need to achieve. Then halve it and you might just about get it all done. My random top tips are below:

-          Be flexible about how you use your space. If it makes more sense to your new routine to keep your clothes in the bathroom and your toothbrush in the kitchen then do it. I heard of one couple who moved their mattress into their living room and camped out there for a few weeks after the birth of their twins. Do what makes sense at the time. No one is watching.

-          Make the nights as easy as possible. For us this meant taking the bottles filled with boiled water and the formula upstairs with us each night so that we didn’t have to leave our room. It sounds simple and obvious now, but at the time we thought of it (after nights of running up and down stairs every few hours) it was quite a revelation!

-          If you are bottle feeding have 12 bottles for twins. That gives you enough for 6 feeds a day (although you’ll probably be doing more like 8 each per day) and means you won’t be sterilising every couple of hours. Boil your water and measure it into your bottles to sit on the side ready for use. (See cautionary tale below)

-          For the nights you might find it easier to measure out the formula powder into little pots (you can get these from Mothercare) – I regularly flicked powder all over the place and always into my husband’s slippers while measuring formula out at night. It’s also tricky to count the number of scoops when you are half asleep and you have babies screaming, so useful to have the feeds pre-measured.

-          Always have some cartons of ready to use formula just in case. It’s an awful feeling to confidently go to get your bottles of cooled, boiled water to make up your feeds only to realise that you haven’t even boiled the kettle yet. You’ve then got to boil it, pour it into the bottles and try to cool it down while your babies scream and you have a meltdown. Cartons are also handy for that overwhelming first night home from the hospital.

-          Each time you get home from an outing re-pack the babies’ bag so that it’s ready for next time. Also make sure you reassess the clothes in the bag regularly – shoehorning your baby into a too-small babygro on the floor of a ladies’ toilet without a baby changing table when you are already sweating in your coat because he has pooed all over his beautiful Boden dungarees is just too much.

Cautionary Tale (or how to avoid ending up naked, wee-soaked, feeding a baby in the dark).

I have a lovely friend who took her twins for their 12 week vaccinations.  As he got his injection one baby did an enormous wee on her which soaked through her jeans. Brilliant, she thought. Oh well. Off they went home, both babies screaming and due a feed. She dumped her stuff down and went to the kitchen for her bottles... only to find them ALL in the sink awaiting washing up. Great. Quickly she washed the bottles, sterilised them, boiled the kettle, filled them, cooled them and added formula (the term ”quickly” is just for effect. Of course none for these things happened quickly). All this time the weeing twin was asleep and the non-weeing twin was screaming the house down. Mummy stripped off her wet jeans and scooped up the screaming twin only to discover the mother of all poos in the nappy and up the back of the aforementioned twin. Terrific. Off she goes to change him, keeping all the lights off for fear of waking the sleeping twin. In the course of the nappy change the poo gets on Mummy and she loses even more clothes. Finally she ends up back in the kitchen, naked, in the dark, feeding the baby who takes 2 sucks and promptly falls asleep. Awesome.

The Dark Days

The Dark Days.

I wasn’t prepared for the hormonal car crash that occurs after giving birth. It’s as if all the PMS that I had missed out on during my pregnancy took steroids and attacked me all at once. I couldn’t stop crying every time the babies cried and being in hospital didn’t help as I got NO sleep. Once at home I struggled to make any decisions; it was all just overwhelming and I felt totally out of control. We just got through that first night and the next day I got the advice of my sister and mum on loads of things I hadn’t even considered before bringing the babies home: should their cots go near the window of near the radiator? Should they wear hats to sleep in? When can I give them dummies? How often should we change their nappies? Do we use cream? How many blankets do they need? Compared to the safe cocoon of the hospital our house seemed cold and unfriendly. Everything I needed was in a box, wrapped in millions of layers of plastic and I couldn’t find any clothes that fit the babies or myself. My careful pre-natal plans were unravelling.

The nights were tough. 3 hours between feeds is not really enough time to get any decent sleep as each feed was taking an hour at first and by the time they were settled it was virtually time to do it all again. There are no words to describe the frustration you feel when the baby that was screaming its head off takes two sucks of milk and falls asleep. I remember on one particularly dark occasion telling my startled husband that I wanted to throw our baby daughter out of the window. Your mind is just not your own and you feel like a slave to these beings that you don’t remember ever wanting in the first place. Of course when the sun comes up, you have a cup of tea, get dressed and everything seems a lot brighter. You realise that you’re not going mental, you are sleep-deprived and post-natal – quite a combo. I found that getting out of the house every day, no matter what kind of night I’d had, made all the difference. Sometimes it took two hours to go out for an hour, but it was still worth it for my mental health. Just do it: go to the supermarket, walk around the block, make unnecessary trips to the post office. It will make you feel better, I promise.

 There is a myth that new mums do not have time to have a shower or get dressed and spend their days in milk-stained dressing gowns with bits of toast in their hair. Admittedly there were days when the showering and dressing bit didn’t happen until the afternoon, but I always managed it. I would make sure the babies were clean, fed and relatively happy in their cots, bouncy chairs or on our bed and I would take myself off for a shower. At first I took the monitor with me (because I felt that I should), but then I realised that hearing the babies was stressing me out and I wasn’t actually going to get out of the shower and go to them if they cried. I told myself that they were safe, fed and warm and just concentrated on getting myself into a state where I felt like I could deal with the day. For me wearing proper clothes (rather than sweats) and putting on some make-up was absolutely key to my state of mind. It made me feel like me and I felt ready to deal with what the day threw at me. It also meant that I wasn’t ashamed to answer the door to the postman (you will get sent loads of presents!).

There are still dark days, mainly related to a lack of sleep, and I still sometimes have to force myself to get out of the house. The easiest thing in the world is to stay in where you have all your stuff to hand, but I know that breathing in some fresh air and seeing real people lightens my mood and gives me a sense of achievement. Making friends with fellow twin mums also helped a lot as only a new mum knows what you are going through. More than anything taking your babies out into the real world elicits a wealth of compliments from total strangers and when you are really starting to resent your child who is preventing you from doing everything you used to do, people saying how cute they are will make you stop and feel the love again.

Getting Ready: Part 3 - feeding

 Feeding

Breast feeding is trickier than it looks and getting the babies to latch on for long enough to stimulate my milk production was the hardest part. Quite simply it's a question of supply and demand: you need to feed ALL the time at first to establish a decent milk supply. Most of the time (due to exhaustion, not eating properly, doing too much etc.) I wasn't producing enough milk so I topped up with formula. Up until 8 weeks when I admitted defeat. Of course I didn't want to bottle feed my babies, and I still struggle with the guilt associated with "giving up", so my advice is give it the best shot you can. If you breast feed you don't really need any equipment (apart from the obvious) but I suggest you get breast pads (or cups that you empty), freezer bags for storing breast milk, a pashmina for feeding in public, and a breast pump and steriliser if you want to express.  

If you decide to bottle-feed twins you will need the following:

-          12 bottles: don’t bother with the little bottles, go for the 9oz ones straight away. The small ones go up to 4oz and they will be taking more than this really quickly.

-          Teats: the large bottles come with 2-hole teats which should be fine for a newborn, although you can buy 1-hole teats as well.

-          Formula: buy some cartons of ready-made milk as well as a couple of boxes of powder to get you started. I just went for the brand my babies were given in hospital (Aptamil), but I think they are all fairly similar.

-          Kettle: you need freshly boiled water for the feeds and I bought a second kettle just for the babies, which turned out to be really handy. Whenever I boiled a kettle to fill my bottles for the day I always had the best intentions to fill them immediately. In reality I got distracted and dashed off to do something else, in which time my husband could have stumbled, bleary-eyed into the kitchen and flicked the kettle on again for a cup of tea. Having a second kettle eradicated the risk of being back to square one.

-          Steriliser: you can either get one that sits on the side and plugs in (usually takes 6 bottles, sterilising takes 6 mins) or one that goes in the microwave (takes 6 bottles, sterilising takes 4 mins).

-          Bottle brush: you can get special ones from baby shops but I think a bog-standard washing-up brush is exactly the same thing. Keep it separate and only use it for bottles.

-          Bibs: you need a lot of these. Go for the ones with the spongy dibble-catcher around the neck and the babygro underneath might survive the feed. You really need as many as you can lay your hands on (ebay, ebay, ebay). Ditto muslins for mopping up spills and puke.

Getting Ready: Part 2 - pushchair

 Pushchair

Deciding on your pushchair is probably going to be the biggest decision you make before the babies are born (OK, maybe not the biggest but certainly the one you will spend the most time on). Couples stop and ask me about my pushchair quite often and this is a really good approach. If you see an impressive pushchair when you are out and about go over and ask about it. By and large Mums are quite proud of their double buggies will give you a thorough demonstration right there on the pavement outside Mothercare. It might even be one that you have been looking at online but can’t find in a store nearby. I found this the most frustrating part of deciding on my double pushchair: shops just don’t have them in stock for you to try out, so you end up going to loads of different places to see one pushchair at each. Research as much as you can online and read review boards on websites such as babycentre.co.uk to see what real mums think about them. Things to consider:

-          Do you want a side-by-side or a tandem (one in front of the other)?

-          Do you want to be able to clip the car seats to the pushchair?

-          How easy is it to manoeuvre? Try it with weight in it in the shop if possible.

-          Will you be going out in the car or using public transport?

-          Will you be using it indoors for the babies’ naps? If so, does it fit?

-          Do you want one that lasts until they don’t need a pushchair anymore or are you happy to replace it?

I don’t believe there is a perfect double pushchair out there, but you will find one that works for you and your babies.

If you are having babies in the winter and don’t want to become housebound, rocking in a dark corner, I suggest you buy a pushchair/pram whatsit with carrycots . My carrycots were used without the hoods and aprons in the house for the babies to sleep in until they went into the cots in their room (so no need for Moses baskets), and I used them on the pushchair for lots of brisk walks up until the babies were about 4 months old. In really cold weather I would put mine in vests, babygros, cardigans, snowsuits and blankets then lay them in the carrycot with a sheepskin under them. These walks were a key part of getting out and about in the early days with new mum friends. With the babies all wrapped up in snow suits and blankets, an icy wind in your face and a new pal to moan to you can while away a whole morning and end up tucked up in a cafe with a hot chocolate.

Getting Ready: Part 1 - clothes

Getting Ready: Stuff, stuff and more stuff.

 I never realised how small my house was until I started acquiring stuff for the babies. Please don’t follow a list published by Mothercare – it’s in their interest to make you buy loads of stuff you simply do not need, and trust me; no matter how big your house is it’s not big enough. I decided to get my thrifty sister to write me a list of bare essentials and then source as much as possible from people I knew with children. This approach was amazingly productive: bagfuls of clothes, bouncy chairs, changing table, cots, even nappies and maternity clothes. People love giving passing this sort of stuff on, mainly because most of it has been used for such a brief period of time. Accept everything and then filter what you don’t need or want – remember; you will be passing everything on before you know it. Due to having such a short shelf-life baby clothes are the perfect second-hand acquisitions. Find yourself a master washer and you are quids in! Many of the nicest jumpers and dresses I acquired were clearly gifts; some still with the labels on. Ebay is also brilliant for bundles of vests and babygros.

1.       Clothes

I know it’s really tempting to buy loads of pretty outfits, but I would literally buy a load of babygros and vests and leave the rest for the present-buying brigade. Just remember to get some small sizes and a couple of 0-3 months as well as newborn in case you have a tiddler or a whopper. You will need to wait to see what sizes your babies are before you get all the clothes you need so resist the nesting instinct and hold off until the babies arrive. Family members are more than happy to do a trip to Mothercare to buy babygros. My smaller baby was still wearing a couple of 0-3 month things at 7 months so just use the sizes as a guide! Also sizes in different shops seem to vary a lot so a newborn from Tesco is bigger than a newborn from Gap. Here is a basic guide to sizes:

Early baby: up to 3lbs

Tiny baby: up to 5lbs

Small baby: up to 7.5lbs

Newborn: up to 10lbs

 It’s difficult to say how many babygros you will need as it depends on how often you can do the washing, whether you have a tumble dryer (I don’t), if you have a baby who is sick a lot or who has explosive nappies. I found having about 40 in circulation worked quite well for two babies and I kept white for night-time and coloured for day-time. I did this to make a distinction between night and day which I found quite important at in the early days when you are doing the same thing round the clock. It gave some structure to the day before I established our routine.

 When you want to start putting them in something that looks more like clothes go for comfort as they are still going to be sleeping for a lot of the day (and hopefully night). Sweat pants for boys and leggings for girls with a long-sleeved vest is a quick and easy outfit for around the house. Add socks if the trousers don’t have feet, make the vest short-sleeved in warm weather and add a cardigan if it’s chilly. Always go for the easy option: cardigans are easier to put on than jumpers, hoodies are easier than separate hats, trousers with feet are easier than socks.

Public Property

 Public Property.

People are really interested in you once you are pregnant, particularly with twins. Colleagues who had never even held the door open for me were suddenly stopping by my desk for extended chats. I was always amazed at how complete strangers would ask me intimate questions in a perfectly casual manner and then seem surprised that I wasn’t inclined to discuss stretch marks, piles or my pelvic floor in the middle of the office.  Apparently it was perfectly acceptable to comment on how enormous I was getting (really? I hadn’t noticed) and to give the bump a good old rub as if it wasn’t in fact attached to an actual person. Sorry to say it but older people were the worst at this. Also inexplicably were childless women in their 50’s who were suddenly an authority on childbirth because their neighbour’s cousin had twins 20 years ago. You just have to smile and pretend to be as interested in their unsolicited attention as they suddenly are in your pregnancy.

If anything this phenomenon increased after I had the babies and I felt like handing out a card to every stranger who quizzed me about the babies with their names, weights and the make/model of my pushchair. I got overwhelmingly positive comments but there will always be those people who say negative things (I got a “poor cow” comment in a shopping centre) or who ask ridiculous questions (I always found questions about whether my girl and boy were identical tricky to answer with a straight face). Be as polite as you can and move on quickly. You’ve got better things to do with your day.

Pregnancy

Pregnancy

1.       Control what you can.

There are times when I felt completely out of control of my own body. You go to your wardrobe for the fail-safe outfit that looks good every time and it won’t fit anymore or just looks bloody awful. At times like this dress simply and concentrate on the areas you do have control over: hair, make-up and nails. If you have shiny, glossy hair, flawless make-up and a good manicure you will at least give the appearance of being in control and it will just make you feel more like you. I put a lot of the compliments I received during my pregnancy down to polish rather than substance.

A note on hair; you may find you lose less hair when you are pregnant. My body seemed to hold on to everything for dear life as my little darlings stripped it of every last nutrient. My hair got much thicker and less easy to manage, and actually took ages after the birth to start falling out at its pre-pregnancy rate (i.e. blocking the plughole at every hair wash). My hair advice would be straighteners to make it look thinner and calmer, or embrace the volume and go wavy/curly/just plain big.

2.       Embrace your shape.

I got a fairly noticeable bump (well, to me and my husband anyway) at around 9 weeks. This wasn’t too much of a surprise as I already knew I was having twins, but the bump appearing before 12 weeks can be both a shock and a complete pain in the arse if you don’t want people to know yet. I had to really examine my work wardrobe during these weeks to find clothes that gave good coverage to the tummy area and were comfortable. Wearing dresses as tops worked quite well. I had a patterned dress that was particularly good as I could wear it over black maternity trousers and the pattern was a sort of optical illusion that disguised the bump. From the front at least. I also took to carrying a folder (empty) around the office with me so that I could strategically position it over my tummy when I was talking to colleagues at their desks. All that effort! I bet nobody even suspected, or if they did it certainly wasn’t worthy of the front page news I imagined it to be.

Of course the most comfortable clothes to wear are maternity clothes, but these make you look pregnant instantly so steer clear while you are keeping it on the down low. That said, I would get some maternity bits and pieces straight away and start wearing what you can to get your money’s worth. Shopping in places like New Look, Dorothy Perkins, H&M and online from ASOS means that you will probably buy a lot of reasonably priced things that don’t particularly look like maternity wear and that you can keep wearing after the birth. The best investment is a good pair of jeans; I bought mine from Benetton at 8 weeks and wore them right up until the day I went into labour. Jeans are brilliant as they make you feel like you are wearing normal clothes and they are really comfortable. If you are expecting twins or more buy a large size and you probably won’t be able to conceal the stretchy panel at the top of the jeans towards the end of your pregnancy, so wear longer tops if you can (although with a 48cm bump I couldn’t have cared less!).

 I suppose my general uniform was dresses with leggings which was comfortable and versatile. It meant that I could wear flip flops when my feet expanded in the summer and still look vaguely smart for work. Whatever you do make sure you are comfortable. I remember going to work in a knitted dress, tights and wedges on a foggy spring morning only for the fog to clear, the sun to come out and my feet to swell up. There will be days when you get home, strip off and angrily throw the offending constrictive item at your other half (because of course it’s his fault). Get comfortable pyjamas and always check the weather forecast.

As your body is changing so quickly it is really important to constantly re-evaluate your outfits as something that you felt brilliant in a week ago may now look less than fabulous. You will grow in spurts so dress in front of a full-length mirror and if you are wearing non-maternity clothes pay particular attention to the hemline as it will creep up at the front as your bump grows. I had a particularly lovely flowery dress that was my fall back for days when I was feeling less than fabulous, however until I caught sight of myself in an office window I hadn’t realised how short it had become at the front. As I was wearing hold-ups on this particularly memorable day this was not a good look...

OK: underwear. Traumatic as it may be you really need to wear a non-wired bra throughout your pregnancy. Blocked milk ducts at any point are not fun, especially after you give birth. As a member of the massive breast club I found even trying on non-wired bras a harrowing experience. I was used to bras that lifted, separated and made me feel secure. Non-wired ones were just a generic hammock affair with no support and no definition. I did in the end find some good ones (Marks and Spencer) and I just got used to how my boobs looked – flattened. When you are carting around a massive bump no one is going to be looking at your boobs anyway. Maternity knickers are comfortable and essential, as are maternity tights. Go with it.

Towards the end of my pregnancy I was struggling to find anything that still fitted. I even had to buy a pair of comfy boots a size bigger to accommodate my elephantine feet and ankles. As I was on maternity leave (and virtually housebound as I didn’t go out except for hospital appointments) clothes were no longer too much of a problem. I had a couple of pairs of jogging bottoms and some stretchy tops that saw me through. For going out the ubiquitous jeans replaced the sweats. I did carry on doing my hair and make-up for the most part as it just made me feel better about my confinement to catch a glimpse of myself in the bathroom mirror and not recoil in horror.